Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
