I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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