WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
