Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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