That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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