Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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