can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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