You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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