Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
