Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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