At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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