He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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