I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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