So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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