margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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