i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
