Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize