Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
