You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
