im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
