just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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