I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
