Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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