do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
