That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
