I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
