it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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