found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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