just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I looked at my own cervix.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
