need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize