yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
