you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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