hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
