Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
