hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
