Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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