Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
