You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize