So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
