We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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