I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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