Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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