I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize