I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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