i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
