i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize