so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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