watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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