Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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