sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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