I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
