I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
