butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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