the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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