I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
