This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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