He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
