i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
