there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
is that a dick in a sweater?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
