Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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