this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Then you guys just all showered together...?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
